Less Effective

When I was a missionary, "less effective" was the euphemism of choice to describe those moments when we made a mess of things. It was a nice way of saying "that was one of the dumbest things you could have done/said, but there's still a sliver of hope that you'll do better next time." The subtext: Perhaps, someday, you'll even approach effective!

Although I've been home from my mission over ten years now, I still struggle with effective living. As evidence, here's a few recent examples:

- I must have been very, very tired after attending a rip-roaring Halloween party on Saturday night 'cuz I didn't gain consciousness until 10:24 a.m. Sunday morning. Even when I try, I can never sleep past 9:00 and I had set my alarm -- to no avail. Since church starts at 11:00 and the chapel is a 20 minute drive from my house, I threw on some clothes in a mad flurry and rushed out the door (taking time to put on my brand-new, albeit very cheap, earrings and necklace). Of course, I was supposed to teach a lesson for the 2 year-olds in nursery and naturally, I had planned to prepare it in the morning. Nursery was crazy -- especially my pseudo-lesson -- but we all survived. When the last child was handed over to her parents, I went to put on my coat. But alas, my coat was nowhere to be found. It eventually occurred to me that I had left my coat in the chapel and the woman I had been sitting next to might have picked it up. Sure enough. My coat had gotten tossed in with the pile of the other family's coats and was now at her house -- with my keys in the pocket. So, my poor friend had to drive back to the church to deliver my coat and keys. Whew! Finally I could go home and restart the day. But as the crowning touch I discovered that a) I had a rotten banana in my bag leftover from last week's nursery snack and b) both of my new earrings and fallen out at some point and were gone and lost forever. Less effective!

- Last night, I cycled 10 miles on my stationary bike -- while I munched on chocolate. (I'm not kidding.) Less effective!

- On a particularly frustrating and treacherous writing day, I managed to sit in front of my computer for several hours and wrote one paragraph. Less effective!

My grand conclusion: I am effectively inept. Three cheers for those of us still struggling with the fundamentals of earth life!

Fun and Entertainment: Idaho Style

Thanks to a soon-to-expire, free airplane ticket , I semi-spontaneously dashed off to Idaho last week for a quick visit with my sister and her family. What else was I to do with a looming deadline for my dissertation proposal, an article still not submitted for publication, and a bunch of student work waiting to be graded? That's right. Escape. (Besides, I hadn't seen the kids for nearly a year!)

All interested parties were happy with the idea. ("Aunt Anny, it's so much better to have you here in person than just hearing your voice!) However, my brother-in-law reminded me that I always seem to visit at the wrong time of year. People flock to Sandpoint, Idaho (population 624, not counting wildlife) in the summer for glorious biking, hiking, and boating or in the winter for skiing. But in October when it's too cold to be pleasant outside, but not cold enough for the snow to fly, you're left with few options.

Undaunted by the scarcity of conventional recreational opportunities, we managed to have a rip-roaring time nonetheless. Here's a list of the top 11 ways to entertain yourself in Sandpoint in October. (Yes, we did every single one.)

11. Watch a kids' soccer game in freezing, windy weather
10. Change diapers for a very darling, wiggly 11-month-old
9. Practice the piano with a very darling, dramatically stubborn 8-year-old
8. Build super cool lego ships with a very darling, smart 6-year-old
7. Read books and cuddle on the couch with a very darling, adorable 3-year-old
6. Eat 100-calorie snack packs at midnight with a very capable, interesting, and exhausted orthodontist and his equally capable, interesting, and exhausted wife
5. Decorate a haunted cookie castle
4. De-junk a closet
3. Play a cut-throat round of "Duck, Duck, Goose" for Family Home Evening
2. Spend an hour with the kids dancing to a fuzzy version of "Lawrence Welk" on PBS (a regular Saturday night tradition)
1. Cheer as the baby takes his first steps

October in Sandpoint works just fine for me!